Tool of the day - Slydial

OK, so maybe using this tool makes you a tool, but I'm still going to post it. Who hasn't just wanted to go straight to VM when you're dialing someone you are actually trying to avoid? Corporate telephone systems are great for this - just go into your voicemail and then create a message and send it that way - no need to pray for that person to be on another call.

I get that we're bombarded with too much information and sometimes you just want to send a quick message. That's what email, and the cell phone the walkie-talkie and text functions are for IMHO. This technology was probably inevitable, but I say that we should just suck it up and have the conversation.

This is, of course, from someone who would leave the cell numbers of unwanted suitors in my phone for way past their expiration date, on the off chance that one of them would try to call me and I'd have to duck the call.


Slydial, via (and unrelated, but hilarious: Mom's cell phone photo appears as porn to family)

Equality in cuteness

Guess what? Pumpkin has made up her weight deficit and both girls are now 6 lbs 11 oz! Here is a picture taken right after they had their 4 month shots - they were feeling a little under the weather and turned right towards each other in their sleep. The power of a "womb"mate I guess.

Deliciousness

As JT and I get used to having our little peanuts home with us things are a bit different around the house [understatement]. My quest to have kitchen counters with the absolute bare minimum of things sitting upon them has been abandoned. Well, I guess in that sense, I do have the bare minimum out. It is just that the minimum now includes a half dozen baby bottles and attendant parts, frozen milk containers thawing, plus various and sundry tummy trouble remedies (if anyone has tried something besides gripe water, gas drops and chamomile tea that works, please let me know!).

One thing that has helped us keep it together is all the people stopping by with food and an extra set of hands for an hour or two. I do love to cook but feeding twins has reshuffled my priorities a bit. In calmer times I would handle menu planning by showing up at the grocery store with dozens of potential meals rattling around in my head and then see what sale ingredients would lend themselves towards making. This satisfied both my inner foodie and my el cheapo nature -- god forbid that I choose a meal for the week that was not comprised almost entirely of sale items.

Our good friend (and wedding officiant) Jean took it upon herself several months ago to organize a parade of food for after the girls came home from the NICU. Sweet relief! Good hearty food and adult conversation on a rotating month-long schedule.

Many thanks to everyone who as stopped by so far and we can't wait to see all those who are next.

For anyone interested in some delicious vegetarian recipes, here's what people have so kindly brought for us over the past several weeks.

Connie's pizza and salad http://www.conniespizza.com/
Lasagna with a salad of mixed greens, bleu cheese, walnuts and mandarin oranges
Spicy roasted eggplant sauce with lemon pepper noodles
Lentil soup
Feta, olive and red pepper quiche
Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables
Spinach Rice Gratin
Baked Macaroni and Cheese
Sesame/peanut noodles with broccoli and tofu

From: JT & Writergrl

Hi everyone,

Our girls are home!

16 weeks ago today the girls were born. Cricket and Pumpkin are now both home and every room in the house is filled with the sounds of their squeals. The girls are each eating like crazy and and seem to grow even as we look at them.

We now count ourselves lucky if we have both showered and had more than 4 hours of sleep in the past 24. In between naps we mumble to each other about meds, feeds, stools and if someone's in the "quiet alert" stage and needs tummy time.

So - here's the summary by the numbers:

Born: March 23 at 26 weeks gestation. Pumpkin arrived at 2:46 p.m. and Cricket at 2:47 p.m.
Weight at birth: Pumpkin - 1 lb 11 oz (760 grams), Cricket - 1 lb 7 oz (600 grams)
Home: Cricket on Saturday June 21 ( 90 days in the NICU) and Pumpkin on Monday June 30(99 days in the NICU)
Gestational week at discharge: Cricket 39 weeks, Pumpkin 40 weeks
Weight at discharge: Cricket - 5 lbs 6 oz, Pumpkin - 4 lbs 12 oz
Weight after 1 week of being home: Cricket - 5 lbs 10 oz, Pumpkin - 5 lbs 2 oz

With the two of them combined we now change 16 diapers a day, 12 feedings a day (which take a total of six hours of (wo)manpower), 5-6 clean receiving blankets per day, 4 changes of clothes on a good day and hours of love and attention, We are sleepy but happy.

In the attached picture, Cricket is on the left and Pumpkin is on the right. Despite nearly a pound in weight difference they are almost the same length (18 inches for C and 17 inches for P) and when their bright, shiny eyes are open and looking right at you they really live up to their identical billing.

We found two stories told by parents of preemie twins that painted a much more complete picture of the experience than we're able to. Here is a link to the story of a Canadian mom and writer who's twin girls were born at 28 weeks. We read this story almost immediately after the girls were born and it helped to have a funny perspective so early on: http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/youandnewborn/article.jsp?content=20051202_133921_5384&page=1
And here is a very recent story of an MSNBC sportswriter dad who's twin boys were born even earlier than our girls. Get out the kleenex: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25063903/ and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25063900/

This will conclude our blast email updates to everyone. If you missed one or want to see the progression of photos again, they're all posted at Writergrl's blog: http://writergrlsramblings.blogspot.com/

We want to thank all of you for the outpouring of support and best wishes over the past four months. We - and our girls - couldn't have done it without you. Thanks for hanging in there with us.

With all our love and best wishes,
JT, Writergrl, Pumpkin and Cricket

The girls rock!

Hello All,

The past three weeks have been good ones for Pumpkin and Cricket. They are now 11 weeks old, and 37 weeks gestational age which is typically full term for twins. The girls are beginning to look and behave much like babies born full term, just a little smaller. Cricket is now 4 lbs 12 oz and Pumpkin is 3 lbs 10 oz. Both girls are now out of the incubators and in real baby cribs. Despite being the smaller one right now, Pumpkin has taken to breast- and bottle-feeding ravenously (Does anyone remember Kirsten Dunst's character in "Interview With a Vampire"?). She is also completely off all oxygen support and nurses say she will likely be the first one home. Cricket is still our champion eater but she still likes to do it more through the feeding tube, so she can take a nap and eat at the same time. We are trying not to infer personality traits at this point but it is hard not to. Cricket also enjoys grunting so hard her face turns into a bright tomato whenever a poop is on the way (Pumpkin is a bit less vocal, but spends more time with her eyes open, taking it all in). Cricket's oxygen level is on the lowest setting possible and nurses say that the tube itself is probably blocking more air going into her nose than the amount of air actually flowing from it. Still every time they take it off, Cricket will fuss enough to set the machine beeping requiring them to put it back on her. Again we are trying not to infer anything from all of this...but oh so hard not to. We are hoping that both girls make it home in the next two weeks. We will update you all again if either or both are homebound anytime soon.

Warmest,
Writergrl, JT, Pumpkin and Cricket

P.S. For everyone who wants new photos, we've got 3 this week - First is Pumpkin and Cricket in the same "Twins Rock" onesie that has become a favorite of the nurses (you can see how much they look alike - it is just the size difference that helps us differentiate). And we got a good shot of Pumpkin as we were giving her a bath last week. Saturday night is bath night in the NICU, so now you know what we've been doing for our Saturday night date night.

The Girls Reunited

To: everyone
From: JT & Writergrl


Hello All,

After 7.5 weeks, the girls have finally been reunited. Writergrl was able to hold both babies for the first time while JT stood by admiring (and snapping photos like a mad man). The girls looked at each other curiously and then held hands. Then Cricket gave Pumpkin a jab in the chin with her elbow and Pumpkin spit up all over Writergrl. Then both girls fell asleep peacefully for the next two hours while Writergrl sat grasping both of them to her chest and JT sat next to them with a grin from ear to ear telling every nurse that walked by that the girls had been reunited once again.

We have the girls' new breathing aparatus to thank for their reunion. Both of their lungs have developed to the point where they no longer need breathing assistance. They now only have a nasal canula, a long thin tube that gives them a bit more air to keep them from getting too tired but does not breathe for them. This new tube is long enough to stretch the distance between their incubator beds to allow us to hold them in one chair. Since the day we found out we were having twins, we thought about how it would be to hold them both and so today is a really happy day for us and we wanted to share it with all of you.

The girls are making great progress. Cricket, who was born over 20% smaller than Pumpkin, is now the bigger twin at 3 lbs 3 oz. Pumpkin is at 2 lbs 12 oz. She has had some trouble keeping all her food down and digestion has been a little slow, so we won't hold it against her. The doctors have her on reflux medication which should help her out a bit. Both girls are excelling at breathing, temperature regulation, heart rate, and pooping...all big things for babies who are gestionally now only 33.5 weeks. At 34 weeks Writergrl will begin to introduce nursing and bottling feeding, but it is expected to take some time for the girls to catch on to the concept.

Please enjoy the attached photos and again thank you all for your continued support and encouragement.

Best,
Writergrl & JT

Cricket & Pumpkin - weeks 3&4

To: everyone
From: JT & Writergrl

Thank you all for the outpouring of support from around the world for these little girls. We are in awe of how quickly so may people have fallen in love with them and their story. Our family is so lucky to have all of you in our lives.

The girls are now one month old, or 30 weeks gestation, and they are both doing splendidly. Our favorite nurse practitioner C (she's a managing nurse who handles day-to-day care for the girls and has been keeping track of them since the day they were born) said: "I'm very pleasantly surprised by how well they are both doing. I'm so proud of them - we're all rooting for them to go home as soon as possible."

Three big milestones since our last update: First, the girls are no longer on a ventilator - they don't have a breathing tube that forces air into their lungs. Instead, they receive a bit of assistance from prongs that are inserted into their nose that provide a small amount of air pressure. They are breathing on their own, but they get a little help to give them more energy for growth.

Second, they are off IV fluids and are feeding on breastmilk. According to their neonatologists, this is THE key to getting them home as soon as possible. They are getting small amounts fed to them every two hours through a tube that runs from their mouth into their stomach - not very pretty, but they don't yet have the reflex down to coordinate breathing and swallowing at the same time. Cricket has become our champion eater and her weight is now up to 1 lb. 15.5 oz! Pumpkin is up to 2 lbs. 3 oz, and she has had a bit of trouble digesting all of her food as well as holding it all down, but lots of babies spit up and have reflux - even in the NICU.

Lastly, the girls have "graduated" to a different room in the NICU - one that is for the more stable babies. They are still receiving the same amount of monitoring and attention, but this room is much quieter and all the babies in it are basically just there to be fed, have their itty bitty diapers changed and be watched by the nurses. They are not quite stable enough to have their heart/breathing monitors removed, but this is a huge step forward for them. They are still two of the youngest and smallest babies of the 50 or so that are in the NICU and all their nurses are thrilled with how fast they are progressing (as are we!). We make sure that they are well taken care of - we visit every day to hold them for at least a couple of hours and make sure to bring in lots of treats for the staff (courtesy of Writergrl's baking habit).

Here are the next two pictures: one is of JT holding Pumpkin - the NICU is a proponent of "kangaroo care" where parents hold their babies on their chest with as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. Their research has shown that this helps premature babies regulate their breathing, heart rate and body temperature better than any other method (and it helps us get our baby fix every day).

Everyone has also asked "how big are they really?" The second picture is Pumpkin's hand grasping Writergrl's index finger. We tried to get pictures of them with a quarter or our wedding rings, but the girls are just too squirmy and wouldn't hold still for a good shot! Pumpkin's feet are about as long as our thumb's first knuckle and Cricket's are a bit smaller - their size difference is still the easiest way to tell them apart, but they look more alike every day

Thanks again to everyone for your kind thoughts - we appreciate it more than we can ever say.

All our love,
JT and Writergrl

Pumpkin & Cricket - Update 2

To: everyone
From: JT and Writergrl

Hi everyone,

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and offers of support. It means the world to us and we tell the girls every day that people around the world are rooting for them. Watching them grow and thrive has truly inspired our respect for both of them - they're strong little people and we are honored to be able to help them grow up.

From the medical side of things - they're doing very well. The NICU environment is becoming more familar to us, but we know just enough to be worried with something changes, like an increase in the percentage of oxygen they receive. The doctors and nurses are great about explaining the day-to-day changes, but also putting it all into context for us. And - according to the experts - both girls are doing amazingly well.

This week they did need surgery to close the Patent Ductus Arteriosus - a small duct helps babies in utero circulate blood efficiently. Most babies have this valve open when they're born, but it closes within a day of being born. With preemies it can sometimes be helped to close with a form of ibuprophen, but for little sprites like ours, surgery is usually the way to close it. It only took 20 minutes, the incision site is about 1 inch long and is located on their sides, under their left armpit. At this point, their skin is still developing, so any scars should be very minor and small. They are already improving tremendously now that their blood can circulate efficiently.

At last check - Pumpkin weighed in at 990 grams or about 2 lbs. 3 oz. Cricket is at 750 grams or 1 lb. 10.5 oz. To all of you who inqured - Cricket did finally have a poopy diaper - several, in fact. Actually, so many people commented on it that we considered sending this email under the subject line of "Cricket pooped!" but realized that with the staying power of electronic communications, she'd most likely never forgive us when a frenemy found it and put it up on her MySpace page in 12 years.


Thanks again for the overwhelming outpouring of love and support for our family. Please keep the calls and emails coming! Even though we can't respond to everyone immediately, it is so nice to know how many people out there are pulling for our sweet baby girls.

With love,
JT and Writergrl

Photo update:

Here is Pumpkin with her eyes open and sucking on her first pacifier. Cricket is snoozing in her favorite position - tummy down and head turned to the left.

The girls are here

To: All
From: JT and Writergrl


Please welcome the arrival of our baby girls, Pumpkin and Cricket. They were born Easter Sunday at Rush University Medical. P arrived at 2:46 pm and weighed 1 pound 11 oz. C was born at 2:47 pm andweighed 1 pound 7 oz. The girls are just 26 weeks so they will have to spend a few months in the hospital before they can come home, but they are doing just fine right now and they have the best neonatal medical team on the planet caring for them 24/7.

Right now the medical staff say that that they are experiencing everythingthat babies born at 26 weeks do. This includes a little help from a ventilator with a little oxygen here and there depending on how they are doing. They have both been under bili lights to help with jaundice. P pooped for the first time yesterday (C is still holding it in). Their brain ultrasounds came back just perfect - and cardiac ultrasounds are on deck. A heart valve called a PDA still needs to close in each of them. This is common and a type of ibuprophen is used to close it. If that doesn't work there may be more invasive options, so we are keeping our fingers crossed on that. C is on some medicine for low blood pressure, but she is working off it quickly. Writergrl got to hold P for the first time on Tuesday for one hour. She is hoping to hold C in the next few days when they take the IV out of her belly button.

Things change day to day. We will update everyone on the girls' progess as things develop. The nurses say to take things in stride. Like full term babies, they will have good days and bad. We will be spending a lot of time in the hospital with the girls the next few months and will not have access to cell phones while we are in the special care nursery. Please let us know if you are interested in receiving email updates on the girls each week. We thank all of you for your good wishes.

Love,
JT and Writergrl

Attached are pictures of the girls - in one Writergrl is holding P for"kangaroo care." In the second, C is getting a "tan" to help with jaundice - since the picture was taken, she's been able to ditch the bili light.

Name check - Mike Roloff, NWU

Way to go Roloff! I just found the Feb 12 article "Why perfect dates make lousy partners" from Live Science on MSNBC and my former professor is the entire source for the article:

Why perfect dates make lousy partners
Want to be in a committed relationship? Pick the socially-awkward type

The best "catches" in dating land may be the worst choices in the long-run, new research shows.

Popular people who monitor themselves carefully in social situations and thereby appear to be the most socially appropriate are often highly sought after as romantic partners, a study finds, but these people show less satisfaction and commitment in relationships than socially-awkward people.

By self-monitoring, people assess how their actions affect others and adjust to fit the appropriateness of the situation. They screen their words and behavior to suit the people around them.

"High self-monitors are social chameleons," said Northwestern University professor of communication studies Michael E. Roloff."And, because they're quick to pick up on social cues, are socially adept and unlikely to say things upsetting to others, they are generally well-liked and sought after."

Self-monitoring is often a helpful attribute.

"Research finds [self-monitors] to be excellent negotiators and far more likely to be promoted at work than their low self-monitoring peers,” Roloff said.

But there’s a downside for high self-monitors when it comes to their romantic relationships.

"High self-monitors may appear to be the kind of people we want to have relationships with, but they themselves are less committed to and less happy in their relationships than low self-monitors," Roloff said.

The problem seems to be that they can't turn the self-monitoring off.

"The desire to alter one's personality to appropriately fit a given situation or social climate prevents high self-monitors from presenting their true selves during intimate interactions with their romantic partners," Roloff said. "High self-monitors are very likeable and successful people. However, it appears they’re just not deep."

Roloff and co-authors Courtney N. Wright and Adrienne Holloway conducted a study of 97 single young adults to investigate the effects of self-monitoring on romantic relationships. The results will be detailed in the journal Communication Reports.

Not intentionally deceptive

The researchers surveyed study participants about the levels of emotional commitment in their romantic relationships and assessed their degrees of self-monitoring, intimate communication, levels of emotional commitment, relational satisfaction and relational commitment.

They did not survey the partners of study participants. "That may be something we eventually should look at," Roloff said.

High self-monitors seem to avoid face-threatening interactions and honest self-disclosure. Thus partners of these people may be completely in the dark about the extent of their significant other’s degree of commitment and regard.

"It's not that high self-monitors are intentionally deceptive or evil," Roloff said. "They appear to have an outlook and way of achieving their goals that makes them attractive to us socially but that prevents them from being particularly happy or loyal in their romantic relationships."

Conversely, the researchers found that low self-monitors — people who are the least concerned with social appropriateness and are unlikely to mask their feelings or opinions to avoid confrontation or preserve their self-image — are more committed to and more satisfied with their relationships.

Those awkward people who always seem to be sticking their feet in their mouths may ultimately be more genuine and capable of intimate relationships. However, their honesty and loyalty can extract a price from their partners, because they may be more likely to say blunt and hurtful things.

Fortunately, Roloff said, self-monitoring is normally distributed, so most people end up with a partner who falls somewhere in the middle. A person who moderately self-monitors may have great social skills and the ability to be unguarded with their partner when necessary.

© 2008 LiveScience.com. All rights reserved.

Best Video of the day

Yes - it's a commercial - but oh so fantastic! Makes me long for summer time (too bad it will be snizzling here tomorrow)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRFfJJjLpqw

and - as a bonus to the stunning visuals - a great song by Cinematic Orchestra

Best Photo of the Day: Ahh, youth

Thank you Chicagoist for this awesome reminder of what it was like to peruse the local quick-shop aisles on a weekend night pre-marriage and pregnancy.